Have you ever felt stuck after a breakup or falling out with a friend? Many people believe they need “closure” to move on. They think they need to talk things out with the other person or get some kind of answer. But is “closure” really the answer?
Closure is a term many people use when they want to end something and feel at peace. It’s the idea that if you get answers to your questions, you’ll feel better. For example, after a breakup, you might think that talking to your ex will help you understand why things ended. You may believe that if you just get an apology, the pain will go away. But is that really true?
Why People Think They Need Closure
People often believe they need closure because they want to understand what went wrong. They might feel confused and need an explanation. For example, “Why did they end things? Did I do something wrong?” Others think closure will give them the validation they need, like an apology or a reason. Some may also feel scared of not knowing what happened and what comes next. But sometimes, waiting for answers only keeps you stuck in the past.
How to Move On Without Traditional Closure
You might be wondering, “If closure isn’t the answer, how do I move on?” Here are some simple steps to help you heal without needing to talk to anyone or get any answers.
1. Practice Acceptance
Radical acceptance means accepting things as they are, even if you don’t like them. It’s about saying, “This happened, and I can’t change it.” You don’t need to understand everything or get an apology. You just need to accept the end of the relationship. This doesn’t happen overnight, but with time, you will start to feel better.
2. Focus on Yourself
One of the best ways to heal is by focusing on yourself. Spend time doing things that make you happy. Pick up a hobby you enjoy, go for a walk, or hang out with friends. When you focus on your own growth and happiness, you start to feel better. Moving forward is all about finding new things that make you feel good about yourself.
3. Create Your Own Closure Ritual
If you feel like you need to do something to say goodbye, create your own closure ritual. Write a letter to your ex or friend about how you feel. You don’t have to send it. You can even burn it as a symbolic gesture. This can help you release some of the pain and move on.
4. Forgive Yourself and Others
Forgiveness is an important step in moving on. It doesn’t mean you have to forget what happened, but it’s about letting go of the anger and resentment. Start by forgiving yourself for anything you think you did wrong. Then, forgive the other person. This step will help you find peace and move forward.
Dealing With the Pain of Not Having Answers
Not getting closure can be painful. You might still have questions about why things ended or why the other person acted the way they did. But remember, grief is part of the healing process. It’s normal to feel sad, angry, or confused. Don’t try to ignore your feelings. Allow yourself to feel them. Over time, they will pass.
One way to cope with unanswered questions is to change how you look at the situation. Instead of thinking, “Why did this happen?” ask yourself, “What can I learn from this?” Focus on how this experience can help you grow. This way, you’re turning the situation into a lesson instead of a loss.
The truth is, you are stronger than you think. Even without closure, you can heal. You have the ability to create a new future and leave the past behind. Trust in yourself, and believe that you can move on.
When Closure Is Actually Harmful
You might feel like you’re getting closer to closure, but in reality, you’re just staying connected to the past. Cutting ties can help you heal faster. It might be hard, but it’s the healthiest choice.
Some people use the idea of closure to go back to toxic relationships. They think they need one last conversation to make things right. But this usually just opens up old wounds. It’s important to realize that closure doesn’t mean going back to something that’s unhealthy for you.
Final Thoughts
Closure isn’t the magic fix many people think it is. True closure comes from within. It’s about accepting the end of the relationship and focusing on your own healing. You don’t need answers or apologies to move on. By accepting the situation, forgiving yourself, and focusing on your future, you can heal and grow stronger.
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